On August 2nd, I posted to Facebook: "Dear Whatever Cosplay Gods There Might Be, I humbly request I receive no new abrasions, blemishes, bug bites, bumps, bruises, burns, cuts, lesions, nicks, pimples, scars, scratches, scrapes, or welts between now and August 15th, and if I omitted anything it was by accident not intent. In mercy's name, amen."

This is what is known in professional circles as a "mistake".

One more week and an EXTREMELY expensive visit to urgent care later, and I was...still pretty crippled, actually. Thankfully, I'm a bit of an obsessively planner, so I already had lists printed out of what I needed to pack and what I needed to do and when, and though I was hobbling bow-legged around my apartment, I managed to get all of the pertinent stuff done. The way I saw it, I had looked forward to Otakon for TOO long and spent too much money to back out. Plus...this was the last Otakon in Baltimore. The very last. Not the last Otakon ever, granted, but Otakon 2004 was my very first ever "away" con. The first one I ever traveled to, the first one I ever roomed at. Over the 12 years Baltimore had become familiar to me--very much a part of the Otakon experience. There was no way I was missing its final hurrah.

So, the usual--packed up the car. Got my hair straightened--in record time, too, and this time I was smart enough to drive to my hair appointment so I could leave straight from it. If I hadn't hit traffic, I would have made it down in record time. But there's always traffic. That's just the way it's got to be. I don't know why, but it is. By the time I made it to my hotel and checked in, Dave and OPIB were looking to start the Disney Dapper Day shoot, so I got dressed as quickly as I could (forgetting my cardigan in the process, dammit), and limped down to the Hilton lobby (which is the hotel immediately connected to the convention center) to meet them.

And there they were! My reasons for living, my inspiration to keep on struggling in the face of infection and exhaustion. Dave was shooting Lady Terentia so I couldn't throw myself on her immediately, but I wanted to because if anyone was meant to portray Belle in a classy 50s cocktail dress, it's her. Aki Reinii, the cutest hipster Ariel ever, wanted to make sure my leg was okay, but I had it wrapped in bandages and under my stockings, so she couldn't really examine it. Avian Firefly, in her hand dyed Aurora dress, was just a Magic 8 Ball of randomness and love. We quickly figured out what poses I could do and which ones I couldn't (no kneeling for me on that one leg, that's for sure, and reclining as much as humanly possible), and managed to make it work.

Our group was a little bigger than our core group, too--Baltimore Lauren had originally set this up before finding out she wouldn't be able to make it that day, but not before we had recruited Scarlet Rhapsody, who has previously joined us as Pluto, as our Dapper Day Gender Bent Scrooge McDuck. We were super lucky to have her with us this year, because she's done professional pinup modeling in the past--and it shows, her photos are easily the sexiest out of all of ours (although I think we all look pretty darn good.) Teren's best friends Annalee and Eric joined us as Princess Leia and Han Solo--now that Disney acquired Star Wars, they're technically Disney canon! But I take 100% credit for convincing my friend Mike to join us as Walt Disney; having him was awesome not only because he makes such a GREAT Walt, but because he really tied our group of disparate characters together.

It also gave me a chance to see my adopted child, Mario Rob, and their friend Justin again! And as we were finishing up the shoot, Chris found us, still sporting the beard that had caused me to not recognize him when he flew in to visit in March. (I don't mind beards, but it changes a man's face so much! Give a girl some warning!) More exclaiming was done over my war wound (seriously, you'd think I'd know better than to go anywhere with my father, especially before a major event. You don't go on "outings" with Dad; you end up on adventures.) Believe it or not, it was already early evening by this time, and the girls wanted to watch the Anime Music Video contest. Since I had just gotten to the con, I wanted to see more of it before I did anything else; this was probably my second mistake, as I probably would've benefited from sitting down, but...I didn't want to miss the con, darn it! (This would turn into a recurring theme of the weekend.)

Mike and Justin also had other things to do, but Chris and Mario Rob didn't, so I asked them if they wanted to accompany me on my "rounds". We decided to make our way to the Dealer's Room, as it was at the opposite end of the convention center from where we were, so I'd get to see what there was to see and make my first shopping pass at the same time. Two birds with one stone, if you will.

Oh--I SAW A TERRY BOGARD COSPLAYER. If NOTHING ELSE, this vindicated dragging my injured body 201 miles to the Baltimore convention center. If you think I'm kidding, I've got about fifteen years of con reports for you to read. (I ask before I hug. I really do. It's just really hard to wait for the answer.)

Of course, I'm not the only one with an OTP (although considering Terry is a fictional character and I am...well, if I am, I'm at the very least in a different series, but I know we can make it work!) Mario Rob was dressed as Scott Pilgrim, one of his all time favorite characters in one of his all time favorite series, and he spied a Ramona (from the same series, for the uninitiated) across the room. He really wanted a picture with her, but he didn't want to bother her. NOT A PROBLEM. For a little girl I've got a BIG voice, and shouted "RAMONA!" with the years of being told to sing to the back of the auditorium behind it. She turned around--I can only imagine what she thought as a middle aged rockabilly Snow White came gimping up to her. But when she saw Scott Pilgrim she got super excited, and I got a great picture of them.

Photos done, we started the long--and on account of my leg, slow--walk through the convention halls. We saw so many great costumes! Granted the older I get, the fewer costumes there are that I recognize (though some I know only because friends of mine have also cosplayed them), but there's still a great deal of "pop culture" costumes that I *do* recognize, and still plenty of old school anime love.

When we made it to the Dealer's Room, one of the first things to catch our eye was Viz's booth, which was once again running a Sailor Moon event: the quest for the Holy Grail. (You Monty Python fans can stop sniggering now.) This year, you had to find (A SHRUBBERY! Shoot now I'm doing it) the four outer senshi in order (with Saturn being last, of course) to get your card punched, and then report back to Sailor Chibimoon.

We finished the quest SO FAST! Granted the first year it was maybe a little harder, because we did it on Saturday and there were four of us girls (which actually should've made it easier, because more pairs of eyes, but we were also distracting each other) and we were SO EXCITED, but Chris and I had done the quest together the year before, and it had still taken a while. I think Mario Rob was our lucky charm; or maybe he has better eyes than we do because he's so much younger. (True, he wears glasses, but what you might not know is I'm blind as a bat. Contacts. If I wore my glasses they'd look like Coke bottles. True story.) At any rate, the prize this year was a Moon Chalice water bottle! It came in pink and white, and while I was happy with pink, if my legs had behaved I absolutely would've gone through the entire quest over again so I could have both.

On the down side, I didn't really get to do any "shopping"--why bother looking at the merchandise in the booths when you're scanning the crowds for Sailor Senshi?--but that really wasn't so bad due to my policy of never (except in extenuating circumstnaces) buying anything on the first day. On the upside, I did pause to photograph some cosplayers who caught my eye, so even though I wasn't able to do an extended "photo hunt" the first day (or any of the days, really--spoiler alert), it wasn't a total loss.

We took our victory picture with Chibimoon, and just as Chris was handing me back my camera, and...I fumbled. I don't know what came over me--maybe the infection was messing with my reflexes, maybe the medication was, maybe I'm just naturally clumsy, but the camera hit the floor and exploded. Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad, as we were able to put it back together...mostly. There was a definite bulge where there had not been one before. And while it still took pictures...kinda...if you pressed the button really hard...you could no longer zoom. BOLLOCKS. AND IT WAS ONLY FRIDAY! I still had two and a half days of con left to photograph! What would happen if I couldn't write out my ridiculously long and overly indulgent con reports that only two people read? (Hi, Avi. Hi, Mike.)

There really wasn't anything I could do about it at the moment. For one thing, I'm no camera technician--and in my panic, I was apt to do further damage, rather than any good. For another, my knees were already beginning to stiffen again (the final symptom that sent me scurrying to urgent care in the first place), and I still had my dinner date with Doc. I was mildly worried about walking back alone, so as much as I hate imposing on people, I asked Chris and Mario Rob if they wouldn't mind helping me shuffle back the way we came so I could meet him.

With their help and a little luck, we made it just in time. I said good night to Chris and Mario Rob, since I knew I probably wouldn't be making it back to the con after dinner (even if I had been in perfect health, I almost always have an early bedtime), and Doc and I made our way over to Sullivan's Steakhouse which, naturally, had amazing seafood. (Pretty much any good restaurant you go to in Baltimore has great seafood.) I stuck with the steak because I'm a redblooded American, but the crabcakes were fantastic--and they had BANANAS FOSTER for dessert, which is one of my favorite desserts of all time. (Fruit good, ice cream good, alcohol better, FIRE BEST!) We ate ourselves stupid.

I happened to mention during dinner that I had managed to bust my camera, and Doc, being a "camera guy" himself, asked to take a look. I handed it over, not *daring* to hope, but...voilà! No more bulge! Way more zoom! The camera was completely fixed! I don't know *what* he did, he definitely didn't have a tool box on him anywhere I could see , but it worked, so I don't care what sorcery he employed. My Otakon was saved! (Aside from the fact that I couldn't, you know, walk, of course.)

Once dinner was over, Doc had other duties to perform. If I had been smart, I probably would've gone back to my hotel room to rest for the following day...but at no point, in the past fifteen years of writing convention reports, have I given anyone any reason to think of me as "smart". Part of me really just likes watching Doc "at work", but I had also been carrying an idea in my head for at least a year if not two--whenever Otakon announced that it would be moving to Washington D.C. There was a very specific photo I wanted to take, that I had asked Doc to bring one of his fedoras down for, and I was determined to get it.

Maintenant, business before pleasure. Doc assured me I could accompany him on his next task as long as I piped down and didn't embarass him (not his words at all, but I had to translate it into Strict Crissy in order to make sure I behaved like a functional human being), although since I was shuffling bowlegged and dressed as cheesecake Snow White, it may have been a lost cause. His next job was to escort Lauren Landa, one of the Otakon guests, from her hotel room to her own next employment, the Voice Actors After Dark panel. She and some of the other voice actors we walked with were so nice, and VERY funny--and doing shots of scotch. I was tempted, I can tell you. But I was on medication. But man, they were having a lot of fun. I later found out that Lauren is Viz's new voice actress for Sailor Neptune--it's probably just as well I didn't know, or I probably would've been a lot more tongue-tied around her! Not knowing, I was able to act completely normal--well, for me.

Doc got Lauren and the other voice actors on stage in time for the panel to start (or near enough; cons are not run with quite the same punctuality of World War II Germany, which is probably a good thing all things considered.) He stayed long enough to make sure they were settled in, and the panel was progressing smoothly, and then we took off. Here was my chance number two to be smart and go back to my hotel room and go to bed...but he had just heard from Jez, and was on his way to see him. HOW COULD I PASS UP A CHANCE TO SEE JEZ??

We decided to fit in my photo idea on the way back--even though I have never seen the movie "Chinatown", I know the final line in the movie is "Forget it Jack; it's Chinatown", and for one reason or another, that had gotten stuck in my head as soon as I heard the convention was moving to Washington. I wanted one picture of Doc with the Inner Harbor in the background that I could caption as "Forget it, Doc; it's Otakon". I even printed out a reference photo and everything. I couldn't go far because of my legs, but you can see my efforts below. I will never be the photographer that so many of my friends are, but, well, I think I got my shot.

We continued on. This was possibly the latest I had ever been in the convention center proper, and it was interesting to see the mood of the con goers shift. It's hard to describe, but it's definitely a different vibe than you see during the day--less people, definitely, less cosplayers by far, but more of a "party" vibe. I don't know, it's interesting. We also ran into Mike, and Annalee and Eric, and they joined us for a nightcap in the little bar area in the Hilton (so I was finishing the day where I started!) with Jez and his friend Michelle. As I mentioned before, I was forgoing alcohol this convention (except what was in my dessert), but we got into another one of our incredibly absorbing conversations about the history of the convention scene and the psychology of the fanboy...if I had all the money in the world, I would fly my friends out to visit me every Friday night just so we could have Socratic bullshit sessions like this, about these subjects I hold dear. I just cannot tell you how fascinating I find them.

By this time, however, my body had had enough. Not only did my knees feel like wood (oddly, they never really ventured into the "pain" area, but just "unable to move", which is still moderately concerning), but I was starting to feel feverish: flushed, and a little out of touch with reality. Doc took one look at my face and knew there was no way I was making it back to my hotel on my own. Hell, I barely made it with his help; I don't remember the trip back so well (a sure sign I was running a fever) but I'm pretty sure he supported most of my (considerable) weight. Ugh. I don't think he put me to bed, but I am sure I took off all my makeup (super important) and changed my bandages (equally important) before passing out for the night.

Juri from Utena

Sailor Saturn and Princess Saturn from Sailor Moon

Scarlet Rhapsody was the best at posing--she's done pinup before.

Aki Reinii as Dapper Day Ariel

More alternate princesses

Snow White actually had her soundtrack on vinyl. That's too cool.

Posing with Sailor Chibimoon

Testing the newly fixed camera to make sure it works!

The VA "handlers" milling about behind the panel.

A lot of these staffers go back a long ways.

And I can't get my camera to focus right...

...nor do I always get the flash to work.

One with me in it!

I try SO HARD to touch Avi's butt through the glass. SO HARD! But there is glass between us. It is not permeable.

We are some dapper dudes.

Dave brought me a souvenier from Croatia!

"This is BANANAS foster, right? No apples?"